Monday, October 17, 2011

WARMACHINE: Kicking Contest With A One Legged Man

Hi kids,  And Yes, I am that one legged man.  My sense of balance ain't too good, either.  As much as I dig it, Warmachine is just not my game.  No other game I've ever played is as unforgiving.  It's as if the penalty for jaywalking was summary execution of your entire family and deportation to the gulag for your entire neighborhood.  And then all the houses burned to the ground.  My armies usually lose one or two figures, one of them being the warcaster. Much as I try, there are just too many ways to kill warcasters.  I've watched folks turn incorporial, take over my jacks, pick up my jacks and throw them into the warcaster (a huge favorite, I must admit), or simply outmaneuver or outshoot my jacks, or just beat them to pieces.  Khador.  Can there be a more useless force in the game?  Every jack in the army is the same: big, slow, low skill. No variety at all.  The only thing they are good for is as the enemy's projectiles.  I've tried a few other types;  snipers who can't shoot an enemy more than 5 inches away, solos who get shot & killed on turn two, man-o-wars who never hit in combat, Khovniks who last one shot more than the man-o-wars.  Every other army has all sorts of massively powerful special abilities; incorporial, stealth, return from the dead, massive shooting, massive knockback, massive special attacks.  What does Khador have?  Well, their jacks are big, slow, low skilled, but look impressive for a turn or two until someone attacks them.  But why attack one in the first place?  Just pick one up and use it as a weapon to knock down the warcaster.  Once he's on his butt DEF 5 or 0, it's all over but the crying.  Which is what we're doing right now; crying.  At any rate, here's the latest tragedy:

Skorcha goes into combat with a Jugg, a Destroyer, a Berzerker (subbed by a Maurader) and a Khovnik.  It's a three person game vs. Everblight and some other force, IIRC Elves. But I could be wrong. Things are looking good due to the game not yet starting.  Due to the arrangement of the Comfy Chair I started out between the two other players.

The Nasties of Everblight warm up over in the west.

Power Elves crank up over to the east.

Skorcha casts concealment over her jacks.  One of the elfjacks charges into H-T-H with the right flank jack, the Jugg.  The Jugg takes a pounding, losing 2/3 of his damage boxes, but no crits or system loses.

Khador's finest hour!  The Destroyer meanders into combat (too close to charge) and with the still swinging Jugg they drop the elfjack like a bad habit.  It took about 4 or 5 focus boosted attacks to do him in, but the elf is out of the game!

The end is nigh!  Using a massive feat the elf caster knocks the Destroyer backwards, knocking down Skorcha in the process.  Can collateral damage be boosted?  It doesn't make any difference as the entire enemy force line up to reduce her DEF 5 body into some red jelly.  All too easy.  We're not talking about shooting fish in a barrel, we're talking about using the family atomics on fish laying on the pavement.  Once again Khador has lost the battle while taking two casualties: the Khovnik (shot and killed in one shot) and Skorcha.  It took all of one turn to go from everything's peachy to game over.

While the Khador jacks idle, the Elves and Everblight start sparing.  One of the Everblight micro's charges into combat in the foreground!

After trading potshots a couple times the game comes to a conclusion; both surviving players deciding without Khador to kick around there just wasn't any fun to be had.  Ok, seriously, one of the other players had an appointment and had to hit the road.  It did kinda give me the feeling that we were playing until I was killed, though. 

So what is the correct way to play Khador?  I get the impression the warcaster will have to stay at the edge of the board and not get within 10 feet of the enemy.  I've tried everything else.  Admitedly I have better luck with the Butcher, but Skorcha's my fav mini of the entire game. In fact, she was the only reason I bought the minis in the first place.  Her powers all require her to be near her jacks, though.  I'm telling ya, this 2nd edition is a heck of a long way from 1st; back then I made it a rule to win games without ever using Skorcha's feat.  I won a lot of them, too.  IIRC my record in 2nd ed is about 1:50,000.  I've tried every tactic except taking double the points. So this is your oportunity to tell me I'm an absolute dolt; go into great detail; don't worry about my feelings!  How does Skorcha ever live through a game?

1 comment:

ColKillgore said...

Hey, you can still claim the moral victory because all of your figures were painted.